Joseph Straus has argued that musicology and theory often focus on so-called “normal” listeners. As a disabled woman who has multiple sclerosis, I aim to subvert these ableist erasures. As such, I offer an autoethnography of what I call my neuroqueer experience of music: I am sexually attracted to (long-dead) composers such as Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and Dvořák. Exploring the musical features that I find erotically stimulating, my presentation suggests that my M.S.-related neurodivergence shapes my bodymind and musico-sexual orientation.

Tekla Babyak holds a Ph.D. in Musicology from Cornell University. Based in Davis, she is an independent scholar and disability activist with multiple sclerosis (MS). Her research focuses on analysis and aesthetics in European musical Romanticism. Recent publications have appeared in the journal19th-Century Music and in Joseph Joachim: Identities/Identitäten as part of the Georg Olms Verlag series in musicology.